


Fallen Leaves

by pretty0dd_semisweet



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Autumn, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-20
Updated: 2013-09-20
Packaged: 2017-12-27 03:53:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/973996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pretty0dd_semisweet/pseuds/pretty0dd_semisweet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dallon had always been a thoughtful guy. Sometimes he just needed Brendon to tell him that everything was fine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fallen Leaves

The man was walking down the street, his hands in his pocket, his gaze riveted onto the street. The cool air of autumn was blowing into his face, through his hair, against his body. He shivered, it could have been caused by the cold, but there was something else that made his skin tickle. It was a thought, a thought of someone.

The yellow leaves reminded him of that someone. The colour, it just represented him well, the happiness, the feeling of being alive when he was together with him, it felt like he was the sun that came back everyday only for him, the sun that rose into the sky to highlight his day, making it possible. Without him, he would be nothing, he knew it. And if he was his sun, he must have been the moon. He was the darker side. But together with him, they shone bright, even him, illuminated by the sunlight even at night, making him glow, making him show his talent. He was the reason he got up, he was the one he want to bed with together. He made him feel alive.

It were the brown leaves that made him frown. They were dead, they were beginning to rot. It was basically the same with the yellow ones, but it felt different. They seemed sick while the yellow ones symbolized the complete opposite for him: Life. He found himself frowning at them, those brown things, they weren’t fallen leaves, they were fallen angels, they had already had the best time of their lives, and now everything got to an end. He wasn’t afraid of heights but he was afraid of falling. He was afraid of falling into the darkness again, were even the sun couldn’t come and bring the needed light, the darkness that had soaked him in when he hadn’t known him. He’d done many things wrong in his life, but it weren’t the mistakes that he wanted to remembered for, he wanted to be remembered for the good things. He knew a lot of people and a lot of people knew him. Sometimes he wanted to know what they thought of him, what they felt when they saw him. It was hard being human. Living was hard in general. But with those bothering thoughts, it seemed even harder than it should be. Distraction, he needed distraction. He had always been the one distracting others, but he himself got lead onto the wrong path. The path of brown leaves. What would life be if there were only the brown ones, only dead ones, only that dark side? It wouldn’t be life, he thought.

He was still walking, the leaves surrounding his feet, plastering the street, the sidewalk, everything. There were orange ones, some were slightly reddish, he had never been good at defining colours. The only thing he knew for sure that they reminded him of the love he felt for this man. The man that had been, still was, and hopefully would always be his savior. He’d hated so much in his life, he’d never really got to really love someone like that. Well, it was different with his family. He loved them, honestly, with the whole of his heart, but with him, it was different. It was a different kind of love, a love he had never experienced. He’d die for him, but at the same time he was living for him, watching over him. He wasn’t the only one who needed affection and care after all, he wasn’t that self-centered to think that.

Together all those leaves made something whole. They created a picture, a unique one, just as unique like life. They would never be the same again, their constellation, their color, they would get brighter and they would fade, they would crack and they would wrinkle, they would shine and they would die. It was an endless cycle. He would be willing to spend the rest of his life with this man. He wanted to feel as bright as the sun, the leaves, life itself. And if he had to fade away, he didn’t want to be on his own.

The steps were damped by the leaves, he almost didn’t hear them. Only when the person came closer, he noticed them. When he lifted his gaze and turned around he didn’t expect to see him.

“Dallon” The man said, out of breath. He smiled and the young man smiled back.

“Brendon.” He said, the smile audible in his voice. “Why are you here?”

“I saw you walking down the street when I came home from work. What are you up to?” Brendon responded, awaiting an answer.

“Oh, I was just going for a walk. Having some fresh air again, you know?” his smile turned into a grimace somehow, he didn’t really wanted it to, but it just happened.

“Heavy thoughts again, huh?” Brendon asked, eyebrows raised high and eyes full with sympathy.

“Well… Yes.” Dallon began, not knowing what to say.

“Tell me.” Brendon said, starting to walk again, so Dallon started moving as well, their bodies close to each other, protecting each other from the cold air.

“I just don’t know, Brendon.” The older man said. “It’s just weird? Why are we living when we’re supposed to die anyway? Why are we here when we are rotting like leaves, losing everything that we once knew like the trees losing their leaves? It seems so unfair. Even the rocks, those things that are supposed to be hard, tough, something that destroys, still, they get destroyed themselves, the water washes them away, bit by bit with the time. It may take longer, but the result is still the same.”

“Why would you want to be tough? Would you rather be a stone, than to feel anything?”

“No, it’s really hard to explain though…”

Brendon leant in, his face close to the older mens’ one. His breath was hot on his skin, so different to the cold autumn air.

“Really? Is it?” He asked, his lips dangerously close to Dallons. Within a second, their lips touched, making them one. When both let go of each other, Dallon was the first to speak again.

“I just don’t want to be a brown leaf, you know?”

“You’re never going to be a brown leaf. You are the tree that still stands after the storm, you are the tree that makes all those leaves live their lifetime, making it the best they’ll ever know, because you share with them, so both of you can be alive and then it’s their gift from them to you to fall down in fall, showing everyone how much of a beauty and life you have created. And even when you’ve let them go, new ones are going to come back until there’s nothing more to give. But then it’ll be okay. You’ll be okay.”

The older man swallowed, his throat feeling dry. It was then when he remembered something, a thought. He hadn’t been wrong after all.

“If that is true, you are my sun then, making it possible for me to grow, making my leaves green.”

He smiled, looking into the other mans’ eyes.

“What would be my purpose without that, though? Nothing. I don’t wanna live without a purpose.”

“Well, I guess that leads to one thing…” Dallon started walking again, Brendon immediately starting to follow him.

“Yeah.” The younger man said. “We need each other.”

  
They walked for a while until a sudden thought came to Dallons mind.

“But if I were a leave Brendon, I’d fall for you.”

 


End file.
